


My Home is You

by reign21



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2020-01-11 08:46:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 6,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18427088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reign21/pseuds/reign21
Summary: Hermaphrodite Mark..Jaehyun impregnates Mark..





	1. Unsure..

**Author's Note:**

> So it is my very first fic.  
> Characters and cast isn't mine, just the plot..
> 
> I ship JaeMark a lot ....
> 
>  
> 
> Hahaha

Mark is so unsure why he is doing this.

If he has to be honest, he is quite afraid.

He know it has to be done. 

He knew there is something wrong within.

He just can't point it out exactly.

Each passing day he feel his body gets weirder.

So weird that irritates him down to the core.

That's the reason why he's here.

Sitting face to face with Dr. Kim Joon-il.

As the doctor cheks the reports, his train of thoughts went back to the memory of what happened last night.

 

_Mark, Taeyong calls the younger, it's dinner time._

_Later hyung, I am not hungry yet, Mark answered._

_But you didn't even eat much since yesterday, Taeyong replied._

_As he was talking, he walks towards the shared room of Jaehyun and Mark._

_Markee, get up. You have to eat even a little. We're just lucky enough we don't have much schedule this week, Taeyong nagged._

_Mark has no choice but follow the older male because he didn't like it whenever he begun with his countless rumblings._

 

_As he sat down, the aroma of the food began to stir his head and stomach._

_It caused him nauseous._

_So he ran fast towards the bathroom and began vomitting._

_Like there is no tomorrow_

 

Mark? Mark Lee.

Dr. Kim shakes Mark lightly.

The faint shaking from the doctor brought Mark back to reality.

Yes Doctor? Asked the slightly confused Mark.

Are you ready for the big news? Dr. Kim asks quietly, 

Mark, though confused, nodded.

 

 


	2. Feeling Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotional Mark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short one..  
> Lame excuse..

Right after his appointment with the doctor, Mark decided to stroll aroud.

It is not just for a fresh breath of air, but also to slightly clarify his jarred thoughts.

He made sure he  texted their leader in order not to worry the elder and his co-members, telling the older guy that he want to spend some quality time alone.

And again he is lost.

He just received the biggest shocked in his life.

He couldn't believe it. 

But the ultrasound result on the pocket of his jacket is so real.

And he is afraid. The fear is slowly creeping up to his heart down to the very core of his entire being.

And once again, for the nth being, he cried.

He isn't like this,

He isn't a crybaby. He is a bubbly and giggly kid, just like his

hyungs used to call him

A very energetic one.

All he is feeling right now is that he is somehow lost.

And he didn't know what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I skipped the hospital scene..  
> I'm just gonna use that for flashbacks.


	3. Lost Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just emo Mark..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mark being unsure

The past few days, anxiety rubbed on Mark.

He became a little quiet and less bubbly.

The abrupt changes on Mark's attitude somehow didn't escape the scrunitizing look of his fellow band mates.

They we're used to a bright and bubbly Mark, that no matter how much they tease Mark, he just look at them with  wide smile on his face.

So it was just a normal day in NCT 127 dorm, filled with teasing and laughters,

when Yuta, decided to tease Mark.

But only to be  shocked when Mark suddenly snap and slap him hard.

It only did not surprise the other members, but mostly Mark.

He is utterly astounded.

So his first choice was to run.

He run fast. Out of the vicinity of NCT 127 dorm.

Once he is out, he contemplates wether or not he is going to the DREAMIES dorm or in NCTU's.

 

 

 

The older ones in 127 dorm was quite surprised.

They wonder what causes Mark's changes.

And why is this happening to him.

They wouldn't want the young boy slipped through them.

So the bunch gathered up and made plans.

They have to move fast.

Faster than the speed of light if it has to.

On the other hand, Mark, realizes that he hadn't bring his wallet with him.

So he has decided to barge in NCT DREAM's dorm.

He can and he could stay there witout being asked by the younger ones.

All he has to say is that he missed the youngsters and they would buy it.

 

He just knocked twice and the door opened, showing a smiley Jisung.

The youngest pulled him and before he knew it, he's now enclosed in the warm embrace of the maknae.

The warmth of Jisung's hug tugged the strings in Mark hearts.

And before he realized, his eyes start swelling.

 

_Hyung, you're crying. Jisung says._

_Is there anything wrong? He innocently asked, eyes wide opened._

_I'm fine Jisung-ah, I just missed you lately, Mark  said._

 

Well, that's not a lie.

Given the hectic schedules of the DREAMIES preparin for their comeback,

plus the fact that  127 has their own scheds, he barely saw them.

 

They're currently sitting and watching T.V. when he raised the question,

_Is it alright if I stay here for a while? He asked_

_Hyung, this will always be your dorm, Jeno said._

_Yes hyung, you are always welcome here._

_Its not like you've never been part of us, Renjun added_.

_You have graduated, but you are always one of us hyung._

_We go up, Yo Dreamies, Chenle chirpped in._

 

The words coming from the youngest somehow managed to make Mark smile.

Yeah, being with them gives him assurance that he has always a home to come to.

That there are arms willing to hug him.


	4. Jaehyun is Mark-whipped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaehyun is just inlove.  
> Not to Taeyong,  
> Not Doyoung,  
> Not to anybody..  
> Not to anyone NCTzens paired him with.  
> Its just Mark..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's just imagine that their Global Concert/World Tour is done..  
> Setting is somewhere in unknown future..
> 
> Hehe

It's been a week since Mark decided to cooped-up with the DREAMIES.

Jaehyun and the others aren't sure what caused the turmoil within Mark but they know, there is something bigger that the younger just can't say for now.

 

So they give Mark a time to decide whether he tells them or not.

 

But the non-appearance of Mark in their dorm, made his worries grow bigger.

Why not, he is used to be with Mark 24/7.

Being with him in almost all of activities, be it TV appearance, radio hosting, vlogs, and vlives plus they've been roommates for Godknows how long.

Given the fact that they're in two units together, his world revolves around the younger.

So whenever he is with the younger he always make  sure to show  the world

how much he cherish (love) the younger guy.

A little touch here and there, a slightly brushing of the hair.

A deep gaze and gentle smile.

He love how giggly Mark is, how he listens well to everybody(especially Jaehyun).

How he responds to every single joke the prankster and jokers do.

He love how his eyes shine brightly and how his cheeks puffed up.

He just love Mark being Mark.

 

But their society is scary. 

They scrunitize every single move and action idols do.

A single scandal can ruin all their hardworks and efforts to put them where they are now.

Plus factor that he is the only child his family has.

He didn't want to fail them with their high hopes on him.

So he pushed back all the idea of dating.

He masked all the feelings he has for the younger one, faking it as a brotherly touch and love.

(Can't they just read through him? How much he love Mark?)

 

So the idea of without seeing Mark for a week,(yeah only a week but why does it feel like its already years), brought a silent revolt inside him, especially his heart.

It affected him deeply and the once happy bubble named Jaehyun, loses his shine.

(It means all the smiles doesn't reach his eyes).

He tried atleast to be in his demeanor, witout losing the facade. He smiles. 

He laughs.

He joked around.

But it isn't the same without the sunshine oh his life named Mark.

 

 

 

This day is one of the most rarest day of NCT127.

Without schedules, without managers hovering around, pacing and checking each and one of them.

Lucky and rare indeed.

That is why he is currently curled up into Marks bed.

He might sounds like perv but hey don't give it a different meaning.

He is just sensing a little belonging of the guy.

He missed him dearly.

Yeah he see him around, when there's  a shedule,

but the younger male decided to be sweetly lovey-dovey with the other maknae of 127, Haechan

That brat, he really like to stir the jealousy in him.

 

Jaehyun thinks of a way to remind Mark whom he exactly belongs to.

And that thought, somehow made him jolt out bed.

 

How could he forget?

That one faithful night.

 

 

 

 


	5. Reminiscing That One Fateful Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaehyun reminisces that one fateful night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clarity?  
> Confusions?  
> Whatelse?

Jaehyun, is brought back to that one fateful evening.

 

_When they came back to Seoul, after that many tiring and stressfull back and forth plane rides, with their jam-packed, sold-out concerts, the company threw up a party for them._

_They were allowed to drink._

_No limitations and restrictions, first, because let's be honest, they were in one of the restaurant the company owned, plus their managers are with them._

_Second the area was closed down._

_Only the workers from the restaurant were there to serve everything they need._

_And it is just small amount of restaurant workers were there so the place is somehow private._

_Third, they had decided to held the party in their company's restaurant and near to the vicinity of their dorm because they don't want sasaengs and reporters following them around._

_It is given rule not just by the company but by themselves._

_It is better to be extra careful and safe than to be sorry later._

_How many scandals have ruined an idol's/artists' life and carreer exactly?_

_To many to count._

 

_So each of them were pretty drunk that night, but it is a given knowledge that Jaehyun has the strongest alcohol tolerance within the group._

_But there's this particular guy, named Mark, who became extra fluffy and cute whenever alcohol hits his veins. Either a small or large amout of alcohol enters his body he can be as cute as he is witout giving the fuck to his sorroundings._

_Yes, he can be extra sweet._

_And that extra sweetness he showed is pointed directly to a certain guy._

_And that certain guy is no other than Jung Jaehyun._

 

Jaehyun frozes. Immersed in his thoughts, he remembers now.

What has exactly Mark did for him to lose all the controls he tried just to conceal his feelings towards the younger guy?

He think back.

 

_Jaehyunnie, I really like you, you know. I mean, I like you a lot._

_Even though it is whispered and so faint that it barely registers to his brain,  it gives tingling effect on Jaehyun's heart and body._

_With that confession, Jaehyun's body move faster before his mind can actually digest the words._

_Guys, Jaehyun says, Mark is really drunk now. Would you mind if I bring him back to the dorm now?_

_The people with them just shake their heads, they can see, given the situation where Mark is currently in, he is really drunk. And a drunk Mark is hard to control and a certain Jaehyun can only tone him down._

 

_He asked one of their managers to dropped them off, and in couple of minutes they're in the vicinity of their dorm,_

_Jaehyunah, can you manange him? The manager asked.._

_Yeah hyung, just go back and join the others, the party is meant for you to.. You worked hard too._

_He wave goodbye to the manager, and he then focuses to the younger male._

_Controlling a drunk Mark is quite a task because a sober Mark is hard to tame, that doubles when there is a drunk Mark. So he has no choice but to carry him up._

 

_As he reaches towards the door to their dorm, Mark began to utter words that would not only worsen Jaehyun's control unto his feelings, but totally breaking all the facades and walls he has sorrounded to his heart._

_I have love you eversince, Jaehyun hyung. It hurts because I don't know if you love me too._

 

Right, those are the exact words that made Jaehyun lose all his shits.

All the common sense.

All the reasons he kept to himself.

All the bottled feelings.

Everything went to the gutter because of those words.

 

_He hurriedly opened the door, rushed like a wind towards their room._

_And in the confinement of their room he laid Mark to his bed._

_He is about to  stand only to be pulled back and before everything registers to his mind, he's mouth is now covered with Mark's sloppy kiss._

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just informations

So I did a lot of research about this topic.

 

 

So the hermaphrodite term is changed to INTERSEX because

HERMAPHRODITE regards as an insult to many

 

 

 

As I dig deeper I came across with many terms.

  1.  In true gonadal intersex (true hermaphroditism), an individual has both ovarian and testicular tissues.
  2. The testicular and ovarian tissue maybe seperate, or the two may be combine on what is called an ovetestis.
  3. The external organ may be ambigous or may appear to be male or female
  4. INTERSEX is the term used to describe these biological difference.



Then there's this

●PSEUDOHERMAPHRODITISM

●5a-Reductae Deficiency

●Androgen Insensitivity

and many more I can't comprehend without going

deeper into it.

 

I've never seen nor met one.

The idea came from the documentation and drama anthology I have watched from "Magpakailanman" and Kapuso Mo Jessica Soho. 

The said shows are weekend  program runs every Saturday and Sunday Night. 

The programs are from GMA7, a local channel here in the Philippines.

 

 

ShoutOut to KAPUSO loyalist.♡♡♡

 

 

The said programs awaken my interest to dig deeper..

 

So yeah, I'll try my best to keep it on track..

 

Its an understatement.. 

So the occurence of biological disorder in humans, the INTERSEX/HERMAPHPRODITISM is through genetic conditions. .. Other cases of hermaphrodites are caused by the SRY gene, the gene responsible for testosterone and male genitals, being transferred to the X chromosome during meiosis, resulting in both male and female genitals. Some cases says it happens during pregnancy. Hermaphrodism is a disorder of sexual development that happens when a fetus is forming. Early embryos have the ability to develop into either males or females, but the genes and the environment usually result in the baby developing the internal and external parts of only one gender. In disorders of sexual development, something interferes with typical development and leads to sexual parts that may be ambigiuous or may include both male and female features. ✌🙏😇


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Mark, contemplating on what his best move will be.

Mark hates to admit it but he is kinda weak right now.

He is still in dazed .

The series of events have shaken him.

What's more is he's on the verge of losing himself.

He's not denying it.

There's no use if he keeps on denying it.

He must learn to accept it and face the reality.

But he is afraid.

And the fear is slowly creeping up to his heart.

He traces his mind back to his conversation with Dr. Kim Joon-il,

 

_How and why am I pregnant Doctor? Its a joke right? Mark, shock clearly drawn unto his pretty face, asked the resident Doctor._

_How I hope its just a joke, but it is the result of your tests Mark, the doctor quietly answers._

_But how come? Still in state of shock, Mark managed to voice out his thoughts._

_Have you ever heard of INTERSEX? It is famously called Hermaphroditism. The doctor said._

_I have no idea, Marks says honestly._

_That is your case. You are a Hermaphrodite._

_To confirm, you are going to undergo abdominal ultrasound to see the structures in your stomach. So get ready, Dr. Kim states._

 

Mark quietly took out the ultrasound image fom his wallet.

Stared at it with a blank mind.

He focuses his vision at the image of the fetus.

He absolutely has no idea on know what to do.

Being hermaphrodite is an information to digest.

Being a male pregnant is a bigger news.

Not even a slightest idea is entering his mind right now.

Everytime he tries to think, the word pregnant male is blocking all

the thoughts and every damn  letters begin to dissapate.

The details of being male pregnant are the only thing etched on his mind.

He has been telling to himself to be brave and be strong enough.

Not just for himself but for his child.

He might have been that stupid blindedwithlove guy, but not fool enough to 

let his unborn child suffer.

 

 

Reassessing the situation he crosses out the idea of abortion even though its legal,

he is still a Christian, dammit.

Now the option he have is be brave enough to inform Jaehyun, the others and the management.

Yeah? So the company may be supporting LGBT and they do have an open and wider knowledge and understanding about it, but to tell them about his situation is so crucial.

But he must tell his family first.

If there is someone who endlessly accepts you, loves you unconditionally, no matter how many mistakes and wrongdoings you've committed, it is your family right?

 


	8. Chapter 8

To Mark, everything is slowly turning into chaos.  
Who would have thought that the one night madness would be   
the biggest turning point of his life.  
But he couldn't continue running away from the truth.  
Even though facing reality is quite harder than having been debuted into three units before, there is no point of  
keeping himself on the dark.

He is scared to be honest.  
The thoughts of rejection from his parents is slowly eating his mind and spirit.  
The turmoils inside him, the fears and anxieties are kicking in and begun to tear him up.  
And the last option now lays on his hands.  
He just have to be honest.  
He just need to be brave enough.

Gripping on the last hope, he begin to speak..

Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you, he starts.  
His voice begin to tremble..

What is it Mark? His father asked.

Uhm, I don't know how to tell you this but,  
uhmm. 

His mind begin to work, providing him the best answers, but he just couldn't voice it, and nervousness is again starts to attack.  
His voice cracks.  
The change in his form is visible so his mom hugged the younger boy and rub his back gently.

It's just us baby, there's no need to be this nervous.  
You can always tell us what's bothering you.   
The calmness from his mom somehow rubbed in.  
And he gain tranquility on his troubled mind.  
And gain enough strength to continue.

 

At this point Mom, I'm scared.  
I just want to run away from everything but I can't.  
I don't know what to do.  
He said trying to keep his sniffles be silent.

Mark, what is it that you are trying to say.  
You are now making me nervous; his father stated.

Mark is still troubled organizing his thoughts,  
just took the sonogram image and put it down on the table.

His father though confused took the image with precized care and scrunitize the object.

Its a sonogram, I see.  
Is this has something to do with your problem?  
His gaze went back and forth to the object and to Mark with a questioning look.

Actually this probably might be the biggest news not just for me but for you as well.  
Last month, everthing's crazy.  
I have troubled organizing my thoughts and actions and everything.  
It rubbed in me.  
Thinking that I might have sort of unnoticed illness,  
I made an appointment with Dr. Kim.  
I kept it secret because I don't want to create a huge ruckus that might affect our  
group.  
We have just finished our tours and concerts.  
Being a topic of scandal won't help us and I don't want reporters and medias hovering us around while each one of us were enjoying our vacation.  
I don't want to ruin everything, but the news I received, dropped like a bomb.  
And I knew then I failed at one thing.  
I should have never let myself get out of control.  
He continuesly blabbers without pausing for a bit.

Hey, baby, calm down.  
Get it straight.  
Tell us what is it?  
His mom gently pressed the magnae's hand.

Yeah, Mark, be on point.  
We don't like it when you act like that.  
His father supplies.

I'm pregnant.  
He whispers the words too soft that his parents almost didn't catch the words.

You're what?  
His father asks as he sprang from his sit and went directly on Mark.

I'm pregnant Dad.  
He said, voice a little clearer.

So you came home just to pull this prank on us?  
This is not funny.  
His father's voice got heavier, and anger is visible now in his face

I hope it's a joke but its not.  
The sonogram says so.  
My test results says so.  
How can I joke about this when I'm the one involved on this.  
Dad, I tell you this because it gets heavier everyday.  
I'm scared too.  
There are few cases like mine but being male pregnant is the rarest one.  
It has happened to me.  
The pain and melancholy in his voice washed the anger his father has.

Seeing the tensed reaction both rom hes husband and her son, she knew exactly what she has to do.  
Yeobo, there must be a reason for this.  
There is something bigger in this picture.  
We have to understand why this has happened.  
Being angry won't help us resolve the matter, it will only worsen the situation.  
Mark's mom piped in, trying to disintigrate the tension around her.

So what are you suggesting?  
Mark's father calmly respond.

We have to visit this Dr. Kim Mark is talking about.  
He has all the answers to our questions.  
Mark, she look at his son, when is you're schedule?   
She asked.

Next week Mom.  
He says quietly.

So it is then.  
We'll come with you.  
So don't go anywhere.  
Just inform your brothers your whereabouts so they'll don't have to worry.  
Knowing Taeyong, he'll definitely nag you a lot if you don't tell him.  
You know what to do.  
His mom finalizes and their conversations halts.

I'll just head towards the kitchen.  
It is almost lunch time.  
So what do you want?  
Hers gazed locked on to both her husband and son.

Anything will do.  
Both her husband and son said in unison.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because hermaphroditism is still unclear and the causes were vague.  
> All details are pretty made-up..
> 
> So lets hang in there..

The details are now clear.

They have to accept it.

Its quite hard but they have to face it altogether.

As Mark's parent, they've seen him grow and become mature in thoughts and deeds.

Mark has been dedicated and passionate in what he does.

He debuted at the very young age but his passion and overwhelming patience to learn new things regarding his craft never falters and it amazes them still.

He is so steadfast and committed and it really touched their hearts.

 

And Mark, he is again on another pivotal moment of his life.

A crucial moment that would definitely change his outlooks on life forever and they just couldn't turn their back on him.

They just can't let him be the subject of scrunities and feed him to the wolves.

As Mark's parent this is the best they could do.

They have and must protect him at all costs.

 

Mark on the other hand was dumbstruck.

The new details appalled him 

His parents never talked about it.

And it seems to be most important thing that have caused all this.

But could he hate his mom about it?

His mom made a crucial decision that it had made her almost fragile during her pregnancy with him.

The best he could do right now is be grateful and be thankful.

But the informations are still fresh on his mind and he keeps on thinking about it

 

_I couldn't just say anything right now because there is no proper documentations regarding your son's case and it is my first hand-on case with rare hermaphrodite._

_The occurence of hermaphroditism on human is vague._

_The least thing we could do is trace all possible reasons and causes on Mark's case_

_to urderstand and find solutions how this work._

_Dr.Kim calmly answers._

 

_You are saying that you're gonna make my son your specimen._

_Be the subject of your studies and other sort of things._

_His father voiced out his thoughts._

 

_Mr. Lee, that is not the case._

_Pregnancy in male is very rare._

_We didn't know what kind of dangers are there._

_Its not Mark being the subject but for us to fully see what exactly lies in there._

_Human body is amazing._

_How it adapt well but I'm having second thoughts on this._

_The fact that he have both male and female organs inside him is truly amazing but_

_that question never end there._

_The reason why I am asking you this is to have some clarifications on some issues and there we could start._

_Dr. Kim answered._

 

_I have only one incident in mind._

_His mom said._

_Remember yeobo, when I was told to not to do anything because my uterus was weak back then._

_I bled several times._

_My body got weak and had to bedrest and was dependent on medicines?_

_We were asked either keep the baby or have it aborted but we chose to keep him._

_The doctors told us that the medication might have side-effect but we were so happy that he was born normal._

_This may  have been the aftermath._

 

 

No. He couldn't be mad.

So if his mother has made it through, he could do the same too.

After all it is his child. 

Blood of his blood.

Flesh of his flesh.

He just have to have his courage back and face it.

 


	10. Chapter 10

* * *

The ride back to NCT 127 dorm was quiet.

It was awfully quiet.

No one really is their proper thoughts to speak a single word nor complete a sentence.

 

What happened back in the conference room was amzingly peculiar.

To actually have Sooman-선생nim there is quite odd.

And to actually Sooman- 선생nim hands them the informations and other things is unusual.

What Sooman 선생nim has  told them is literally eating their minds.

 

 

_ I am handling you your pre-approved schedules.  _

_ Solos and everything. _

_ Its up to your managers if they want to add some works for you. _

_ Sooman said. _

 

_ But we thought we have few more weeks on our vacatios  _ 선생, _Taeyong said_

 

_ Yeah, but these are made to keep Mark's absence unnoticed. _

_ He said. _

 

_ Wait, Mark's absence you say? Johnny piped. _

 

_ Yes, his parents actually came here and we had a talked. He answered. _

 

_ What's for? Johnny asked  again. _

 

_ I can't give you full details boys. _

_ But it's medical related, he states. _

 

_ Mark is sick? Asks the surprised Haechan. _

 

_ Let's say something like that, Sooman said. _

_ Well thats the best answer he could give them. _

_ The said parents has hesitated to tell him what the real situation was. _

__

_ Something like that? Asked Jaehyun, unconvinced. _

 

_ Boys, it's quite complicated. _

_ Let's just think that way can we? _

_ Mark's parents asked me to keep it confidential. _

_ Highly confidential, so let's drop this okay. _

_ He said trying to convince eah and one of them. _

 

_ Confidential, there must be bigger than the actual here   _ 선생 _nim, said the forever wise Haechan._

_Why would they keep secrets from us? He said again._

 

_Boys, boys, this issue is already at rest._

_I've done my job._

_I've told you about it and let's not drag it further._

_The less you know the better._

_And before I could forget, they're heading back to Canada._

 

_The last sentence struck them like a lightning straight to their faces._

_The shock is utterly visible._

 

_Canada?_

_So is he going to leave NCT now?_

_Taeyong uttered in shock._

 

 

Trying their best to understand the details, they just can't comprehend everything.

They've been basically thrown-off out of their minds knowing that Mark won't be joining them in their future activities.

They are thrown with informations which is obviously lacking few important details.

 

They were asked for their full cooperation too.

Not just to protect Mark but the whole NCT too.

It might turn into big scandal that will not only taint Mark's name but the whole group.

But what is there to protect if they don't know exactly the problem is?

Medical thing?

The less information you know the better, that's what Sooman-선생 said to them.

 


	11. Missing You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love is gumble in everyones life.

Months have passed and everthing is going pretty well as planned.  
Doyoung released solo album, as well as Taeil too.  
Johnny got his radio program back and his DJ's persona is on work.  
Taeyong, Yuta, Jungwoo and Haechan are busy preparing for a comeback as NCT U.  
Jaehyun has become more visible in variety programs and lifestyle shows, showing his incredible skills in sports and cooking.

But the Mark-lessness was left unnoticed.  
They've been asked countless of times and the excuses rolled on their tounges has been a lot easier.  
And if they put their own words unto it, it became their new habit.  
A new hobby, rolling excuses, yeah.  
And their doing a great job.  
But if they have to be honest, they are asking the same questions too.

How many times did they cornered Sooman선생 and asked him to give them the clearance and answers to their questions?  
They even pleaded the old man just to tell them the truth.  
But the old man keeps on telling them that the less they know the better.  
It has annoyed them but what can they do actually.  
It was Mark's and his parents decision to keep the details private.  
And the absolutely can't do anything about that.  
Even their whereabouts in Canada was a sealed topic.  
And they have no choice but to keep things on going.  
The assurance that Mark will be back, he'll come back to them is one of their push-button to keep things geared up.

 

So things are now going back to normal.  
They dudged the questions asked to them easily and divert the topic.  
But the Mark-lessness is rubbing on Jaehyun.

Just like today, he has just arrived into their dorm from a long flight.  
The show he was on was physically and mentally tiring.  
It didn't only drain his energy but he was mentally tested too.  
Going in and out of the jungle,  
looking for shelter, and for food.  
Everything is exhausting.

And all he want now is too see just even a glimpse of Mark.  
But what he receive back into his now room is silence.  
No Mark at all.  
The only thing that he saw is their photo together,  
taken by Doyoung when the three of them did their vlogs, under the cherry blossoms.

The bright eyes and wide smiles.  
It is even more beautiful that the flowers  
(Its his preference tho, everything that is Mark is beautiful.)

 

He traces the face of Mark on the photo, reminiscing all their memories together.  
He missed him dearly.  
He missed him so much that it broke his heart when the man became unreachable, untouched, not just by him but to all of them.

He's busy staring at the picture when someone poke him and spoke behind him

 

You really are crazily inlove with Mark, Jeffrey.  
Said the man

Johnny-hyung, is the only word that managed to escape his mouth.

Sometimes I wonder how well you keep your feelings masked.  
How you manage to keep your nerves to be this calm is always a question I have in mind, Johnny continues.

I just don't want to jeopardized everything hyung.  
We've done a lot of hardworks together.  
I wouldn't mind if I am just the recipient of society's judgement, but I can't you bring down with me, he said with sadness in his voice.

Why would you care about the society?  
We are here Jeffrey, all of us have witness how well-affected you are with things that currently going on right now.  
If you don't do anything right now, I'm gonna drag you to Canada on my own and dump you there, Johnny said teasingly.

Are you really fine with it?  
My sexual orientation and all. He asked

I am an American Jeffrey.  
I'm pretty cool with it.  
You aren't like those ones who really slaps you in the face with their gayness et al.  
I'm more open with this issue.  
The whole team supports you too.  
You have our back.  
Don't mind what other people will say.  
The society is pretty fucked-up anyway.  
Johnny said.  
And don't worry about your family too.  
They are nice.  
We met them a couple of times and they aren't those type who would scrunitized you endlessly just because you fell inlove with a man.  
Trust my instinct.  
They love Mark too, Johnny added.

Yeah, I would definitely do that hyung.  
Thanks for your advise.  
Jaehyun said.

 

Being well said and done, there is one thing Jaehyun has to do now.  
And it really depends on how well he lay and play his cards.  
It's a gumble.  
And he's gonna get it and win it.


	12. The Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is summary?  
> It's so short it doesn't need one

**The sight infront of him reminds him of how he is feeling right now.**

**Cold and freezing.**

**The lush and green foliage is now covered in white.**

**The snow he loved so much has become a reminder of how miserable he felt he is.**

 

**The dread and fear has never left him.**

**It is just kept deep inside his head and heart and in moment like this, whenever he is left alone in the solitude of their home, it came to taunt him .**

**It emerges like a flash from the movie.**

 

**How could he cope up with the feeling of misery alone?**

**He misses his friends whom he considered as his brothers.**

**Most of all he misses his soulmate.**

**His other-half.**

**But it is stupid to let the memory lingers on his brain.**

 

**So he stood up and took the thing he likes the most.**

**He quietly took his guitar off from its case.**

**And begun to strum the strings.**

**He got lost to it as his fingers run from notes to notes,**

**Mark finds comfort by playing his guitar.**

**This has become his way to get him out of the dark thoughts that has invaded his mind and keep himself on the line.**

**He kept his day busy by writing lyrics and composing songs.**

**His guitar has somehow became his best buddy.**

**The one who knows all his thoughts, his emotions.**

**All the unsaid words, unspoken syllables coming out from his head.**

 

**Days went by and so is he.**

**He has written a full songs about his lonesome life.**

**About the things he love.**

**And the things he like.**

**About his dreams, about his past.**

**About his future and about his little one.**

 

**But if you are going to asks Mark Lee what is the song he loved the most.**

**It is probably about his " _the one"._**

 

**The song is a memory.**

**Of how he met Jaehyun.**

**About their connection.**

**The attraction he felt towards the older one.**

**The simple crush bloomed to a full love.**

**How they read each other.**

 

 

And that's when he knew he kinda fucked things between them.

When he let his love took over.

Mark is about to crumple the notes when he heard a faint knock.

 


	13. Just Jaehyun + Johnny the wise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nevr mind the summary..

Jaehyun has been restless.  
The evidence is showing in his face.  
The ever-glowing has somehow become dull  
(but handsome still).  
The dark orbs lost its shine.  
The plastered smile is clearly a well-practiced one.  
Dark eye-bags are clearly visible showing his lack of sleep.  
His mind is simply filled with unanswered questions.  
A lot of thoughts has been running inside his head.  
He has never anticipated this feeling, let alone wanted it in the first place.

 

The path he has chosen was never a smooth-sailing one.  
There were troubles, humps and bumps, but together with his friends and brothers,  
the ride and trip itself is enjoyable and memorable.  
But he never felt this loneliness.  
The kind of loneliness that seep through his entire being.  
The kind that has held and gripped his heart that gave him troubles.

 

Even when Mark started his promotions with SuperM, somehow he managed to keep himself on track.  
He was never bothered by thoughts with how their sunbaes/hyungs started to fall over Mark's cuteness.  
But there were moments that jealousy rubbed him off and shaked his guard.  
Those moments he kind of wanted to let the green-eyed monster devour his entire being and go berserk.  
But ofcourse he isn't that stupid to let it happen.  
So he just ends up with just clenching his fingers tightly and keep his straight-face look(pissed look).

 

Months and months stretched longer than he expected.  
And the whereabouts and updates about Mark is nowhere to be heard.  
More months has passed and the turmoil inside slowly bringing him down.

 

He is pacing inside their dorm.  
This was noticed by none-other than Johnny.

 

Yo, calm your nerves Jaehyun-ah, the older spoke.  
How can I calm down when there's still no news about him hyung, he said annoyance clearly in in his voice.  
What are you gonna do with it? Disturb the management? Asked Johnny.  
Hyung, I'm on the verge of doing that, I'm losing my patience hyung. He answered.

Well, have you spoken about it with your family? Johnny softly questioned the younger.  
Well, as you've said, I talked to them, he said hanging on the thoughts.  
Annddddd? The intriguing voice was on when Johnny wants to know full details.  
The desire to know was hanging in the air as he watched Jaehyun gathered his thoughts.  
The two of them was left inside the vicinity of their dormitory for the rest of the pack was on their gigs and schedules.  
They have their schedule for the day but that was for this evening.

So it is safe to talk regarding the issue that has been eating Jaehyun off.  
And with just the two of them, everything is safe and sealed.

 

 

 

"Chill"........  
Tha's enough for now..  
I want to keep myself on track because  
JohnMark is taking my focus away from this one.

**Author's Note:**

> So there it goes, the story is about to be build.  
> More confusions and anxieties to come..


End file.
